Paul Get's A Puppy
by Bass Clef Love
Summary: Paul get's lot's of fanmail, but none like this. What is his reaction to the truth of the world? Mostly Crack. Now a Two-shot! YAY! - Slight Ikarishipping - Paul X Dawn - Shinji X Hikari -
1. Chapter 1

HEY-O! This is my first Oneshot, and I just HAD to make it about Paul. Enjoy!

**DISCLAIMER - I DON'T OWN POKEMON, BUT I WISH I DID--ALL I OWN IS POOR, MESSED UP LILY**

* * *

Paul Gets A Puppy

* * *

Paul had been going through the mail his fangirls send him. **//By going through, I mean shredding// **But in his mail-bag, he found a box. _'How the hell am I going to shred a box?' _Paul thought. Suddenly, the box began to move!

"Holy s***" Paul yelled as he fell back in his chair. "Might as well see what's inside, since it seems to be restless"

Paul slowly removed the packaging tape and opened the box. Inside was an odd, furry, four-legged creature. Paul stared at it in awe. _'What...is...this.'_ Paul then found a letter inside the box:

_Dear Awsome Paul,  
I LOVE YOU!! Please take this **puppy** as a gift of my love. His name is Noodles and he's a **golden retriever**. I don't think you'll need any help with food. He'll eat anything. He's a little nippy, and likes to bite. So watch your fingers! LOVE YOU! BYE!_

Sincerely,  
Nameless Girl from Memphis

Paul stared blankly at the note. _'Is this chic DIMENTED!? What the hell is a puppy? And a golden retriever? And WHERE THE F*** IS MEMPHIS!?' _Paul searched his mind for any memory of these terms, but found nothing. He ran to the video phone **//he's in a Pokemon Center// **and called his brother. After a few rings, Reggie answered on the other end.

"Hey, 'lil bro! What's up? Do you know how long it's been since you called? Are you eating well? You look skinny. Got a girlfriend yet? I bet you do! It's Dawn, isn't it? ..."

Paul sighed as his older brother went on and on. _'I swear he sounds just like mom.'_ Paul let Reggie talk a little more before speaking.

"Uhh, Reggie?"

"Yeah, what's wrong?"

"What's a golden retriever puppy?"

"Wha-?"

And where's Memphis?"

Oh, umm...well, all those things you said don't exist where we are."

Paul looked at him sternly. "What do you mean, 'Where we are'? WHERE are WE!?"

Reggie tried to explain in the calmest ways possible. "Well, you see..."

~~~~~~~~~~One explaination about different dimensions later~~~~~~~~~~

Paul was speechless.

Reggie let out a sigh. "Do you understand now? That puppy isn't from our universe. And Memphis is a place 'on the other side'."

Paul didn't do anything. Silence filled the conversation.

"Umm, okay, Paul." Reggie said. "Take care of that puppy, and I'm gonna go now." He waited for a responce.

Nothing.

"Well, okay, take care." He waited again. Ater more silence he finally finished. "Umm, goodbye then." And with that, the video phone shut off.

Paul didn't move for a few more minutes, attracting attention from others in the room. Several made comments like:

"Is he breathing?"

And:

"I hope he's okay."

And aslo:

"Ah, let the little emo kid be."

After a few more minutes and severaly patronizing comments later, Paul made his way into his room. When he entered, he quickly closed the door. He sat on the ground, still in utter shock from the little 'talk' he had with Reggie. This was almost as bad as the time Reggie explained 'the Starly and the Combee'. Paul went into shock for days!

He stood up and looked inside the box. The little 'puppy' looked up at him with, well, puppy-dog eyes. He picked it up and stared it straight in the eye, Paul still not cracking under the pressure of the puppy-dog look.

"...Noodles..."

The dog barked happily in responce to it's name.

Paul brought out a piece of meat from his pocket. **//Paul NEVER goes out without a piece of meat!//**

He put the puppy down on the table and dangled the meat in front of it.

The puppy's soft eyes instantly turned vicious. It attacked the meat as if it's life depended on it.

Paul watched the dog maul it's 'prey'. He smirked.

"Hn. I guess you might be an asset to me after all. But I'm changing you name. 'Noodles' sounds gay."

Paul thought for a moment, then said "Death. You're name is Death."

The dog snarled as if saying, 'Death! Death! Me name is Death!'.

Paul smirked. "Good boy."

* * *

And that's the story of Paul and his puppy! YAY! Review! Or 'Death' will come and get you! MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!


	2. The Unexpected Chapter 2

Hey, wassup!? So, I THOUGHT this was going to be a One-shot, but a certain reviewer (a.k.a. Buneary709) asked me to add another Chappie. And I'm a sucker for reviewer ideas, so, HERE IT IS!

**DISCLAIMER - I DON'T OWN POKEMON BUT I WISH I DID--ALL I OWN IS POOR, MESSED UP LILY**

* * *

Paul Get's A Puppy (Chapter 2)

* * *

Paul had recently decided to keep this alien creature known as a golden retriever puppy. Paul had found a package with the supplies needed to take care of it in the box. Random Girl from Memphis had a note attatched to the second package:

_ Dear Awesome Paul,  
If you're reading this, you've decided to keep my gift alive! YAY! LIFE! Well, attatched are the suplies you need to care for Noodles. The supplies are listed below, followed with their uses: (Ya know, in case you haven't taken care of a puppy before, which I strongly doubt)_

1) **Collar**: It's the little black circle with a shiny buckle. Put this around Noodles' neck.  
2) **Leash**: This is the long black rope with the little hook at the end. Use the hook to attatch it to the collar. This is so you can take Noodles for walks  
without him running away.

Well, that's kinda it. LOVE YOU, Paul! Bye!  
Sincerely,  
Random Girl from Memphis 

Paul looked at the collar. He nervously put it around Death's neck. When it was secure, he looked over the note again.

_'Why would I need to go walk in public for no reaso-WHAT THE HELL!?'_

Paul started freaking out at a certain 'substance' on the floor. **//Yup, Death crapped//**

He picked up the dog and the leash. "We are going outside. Now." He quickly attatched the leash and walked out the back door of the Pokemon Center.

* * *

Several people stared at Paul and his little creature. Many made comments like:

"What is THAT?"

And:

"Is it an alien?"

And also:

"What's that emo punk do to the poor pokemon?"

Paul glared at the person who made the last comment. _'I'm not emo. I don't hate the world. I just hate everyone else in it.' _Paul was too aought up in his non-emo thoughts to notice that Death had 'left his mark' on an unexpecting trainer. When Paul finally noticed what Daeth was done, it was too late.

The trainer shivered at the wetness on his leg. Without looking, he said, "Pikachu! I thought I told you not to do your business in publi-WHAT IS THAT!?" The black-haired trainer stared at the puppy before him.

"What's wrong, Ash?" A long haired blunette said. Her name was Dawn, and her skirt was WAY too short, only covering her hips. Paul couldn't take his eyes off it.

_'Look away, Paul, look away! Don't let the hormones through!'_ Paul, his cheeks a very light pink, quickly turned his attention back to that screaming trainer. a.k.a. Ash. He instantly made the blush disappear. **//WAA!! Ninja powers!//**

"EEEEEEK!! Get it AWAY from me, GET IT AWAY!!" Ash screamed, hopping on a tall, brown-haired trainer's back. "What IS it, Brock!?"

Brock thought about it for a moment, slightly hunched over by Ash's weight. "Hmm...I think it's a dog. From the other dimensions." He managed to say through all Ash's screaming.

Ash suddenly stopped as he followed the leash up to Paul. "Paul! I challenge you to a battle! It'll be three-on-three! Go, Pika-" He was cut off by Dawn.

"ASH!! This is no time for one of your annoying battles, which you'll probably LOSE, anyway!!" She quickly calmed herself down before turning back to Paul. "So, Paul, where did you get that...thing?"

Paul was shocked both at her sudden change in attitude and with her impossibly short skirt. _'NO!! Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it!!'_

Paul dissapated his oncoming blush and calmly said, "Why is it any of your business where I got Death?"

Dawn giggled. "You named him? And Death, of all names!" Dawn's giggle turned into a full-on laugh. "So, it MUST be true!"

Paul scowled. "WHAT must be true?" He said demandingly (sp?).

Dawn's laughing quickly stopped. "Oh, umm..." She was about to say that it wasn't any of HIS business, but one glance in his eyes and Dawn was too scared NOT to tell him. She sighed, then quickly said, "Imeantherumerthatyou'reemomustbetrue!" She closed her eyes tight. But when nothing happened, she slowly opened them.

Everyone was staring at her. Then Paul spoke up. "What?" He said, obviously confused.

Dawn took in a deep breath, then said (still in a kinda rushed tone), "I mean the rumer that you're emo must be true!" And with that, she ran off, screaming over her shoulder "DON'T KILL ME!!!"

Ash and Brock stared at Paul in utter fear. Then Paul and his Dog continued on their walk.

Ash and Brock were still standing there, watching Paul's body shrink into the horizon, when Ash yelled cheerfuly "Bye, Paul! Good luck with suicide!"

And in the distance, they could barely hear Paul yell "I'M NOT EMO!!!!!!"

* * *

There ye go! Hope this 'ere chapter satisfied ye hungry 'lil scallywags! AARG!!! *get's hit with brick for pirate talk* UGH, who keeps throwing these bricks!?! Is it YOU, ASH!?!

Ash: *hides stack of bricks behind back-a little too late*

THAT'S IT!! No more cake fore a WEEK!!

Ash: WAAAAAHHHH!!!! *sobs with puddles of tears alreeady forming*

Please review before I drown in Ash's tears! HURRY!


End file.
